Farewell to the crazy journey that was 2023. This past year was a tough one-all of the emotions, a ton of uncertainty, and several tests of patience and resiliency. If I said I passed all of those tests, Iโd be lying to you. There were periods where I felt completely overwhelmed and defeated and times I thought I was taking on too much. I failed and got a ton wrong.
I havenโt been excited by a New Year in a while. I rarely participate in wild festivities and will likely be asleep by 8:00 pm. Itโs like freshly crossing the race finish line after โgiving it your allโ feels. I donโt want to talk or think about running right now. Whatโs next? I just want a beer. You want me to set a goal right now?
I kicked off 2023, fighting some residual COVID symptoms from a bout earlier in November. It affected me in ways that I couldnโt explain. Running didnโt feel effortless; everything felt like my body and mind were working harder. I felt โoffโ but couldnโt explain what was wrong. My main goal for 2023 was to be and feel healthy. By focusing on making small, sustainable changes in my daily life and by tackling one issue at a time, I was able to get to the root cause and begin the process of healing. I started to feel like myself by the end of April and began to feel healthier little by little over the year. Running a 100 miler in 2023 was a goal in my back pocket. It seemed like an improbable goal due to how crappy I felt at the beginning of the year. Brick by brick, mile by mile, I did what I could do. I gave myself space to go slow on runs if I was feeling shitty; Iโd move runs around if I werenโt up for itโฆ I set small goals that I could achieve. Crossing that finish line in October was peak.
Through ultra-distance running, I have seen the importance of keeping โitโ simple and rolling through the unexpected and uncertainty. Iโm learning to make the best of situations and to be flexible in each moment. I wonโt get everything right, but I see what Iโm getting wrong. I have learned to see my failures as their own and not as a reflection of me. Through each failure comes growth backed by self-love. I will keep my tradition of not setting any resolutions for 2024. I have some things in my back pocket, but the goal remains: to find beauty in keeping things simple, focus on what truly matters, and dream as I go. Uncertainty is terrifying. 2023 sucked, but Iโm coming out leaps closer to the person, runner, and coach I want to be.