Farewell to the crazy journey that was 2023. This past year was a tough one-all of the emotions, a ton of uncertainty, and several tests of patience and resiliency. If I said I passed all of those tests, I’d be lying to you. There were periods where I felt completely overwhelmed and defeated and times I thought I was taking on too much. I failed and got a ton wrong.
I haven’t been excited by a New Year in a while. I rarely participate in wild festivities and will likely be asleep by 8:00 pm. It’s like freshly crossing the race finish line after “giving it your all” feels. I don’t want to talk or think about running right now. What’s next? I just want a beer. You want me to set a goal right now?
I kicked off 2023, fighting some residual COVID symptoms from a bout earlier in November. It affected me in ways that I couldn’t explain. Running didn’t feel effortless; everything felt like my body and mind were working harder. I felt “off” but couldn’t explain what was wrong. My main goal for 2023 was to be and feel healthy. By focusing on making small, sustainable changes in my daily life and by tackling one issue at a time, I was able to get to the root cause and begin the process of healing. I started to feel like myself by the end of April and began to feel healthier little by little over the year. Running a 100 miler in 2023 was a goal in my back pocket. It seemed like an improbable goal due to how crappy I felt at the beginning of the year. Brick by brick, mile by mile, I did what I could do. I gave myself space to go slow on runs if I was feeling shitty; I’d move runs around if I weren’t up for it… I set small goals that I could achieve. Crossing that finish line in October was peak.
Through ultra-distance running, I have seen the importance of keeping “it” simple and rolling through the unexpected and uncertainty. I’m learning to make the best of situations and to be flexible in each moment. I won’t get everything right, but I see what I’m getting wrong. I have learned to see my failures as their own and not as a reflection of me. Through each failure comes growth backed by self-love. I will keep my tradition of not setting any resolutions for 2024. I have some things in my back pocket, but the goal remains: to find beauty in keeping things simple, focus on what truly matters, and dream as I go. Uncertainty is terrifying. 2023 sucked, but I’m coming out leaps closer to the person, runner, and coach I want to be.